Greetings to everyone who stills reads xanga every now and again!

I haven't updated in a really long time, but, I think that I really need to now in case some of you don't know what has been happening in my life lately. The most important thing may come as a surprise to many of you, but keep in mind that I had given it a lot of thought and prayer even before I mentioned it to anyone, so it is not something that has been decided very quickly or easily. As many of you may know a couple of months ago my boyfriend, Zee, moved down to Boulder, Co, (yes,sad for me ) in hopes of getting an LPN job. He not only got one, he got 5 all in a couple of days of searching, and had to turn 3 of the jobs down.

Meanwhile, I have been up here in Bemidji applying for LPN jobs, but haven't had any luck in this area so far. I also applied for RN school at NTC this fall and was not accepted, so not only do I not have a nursing job yet, I won't be able to reapply for school until fall of 2009 either.

So, after much thinking and praying, I decided that to take my next step in my career, education, and relationship, that I am also going to move down to Boulder, Co. I am very excited to be in the same town as Zee again and it was definitely an influence on me, but the most important reasons are for me to be able to find an awesome LPN job (which there are a ton of, I already have 3 interviews requested! with AMAZING pay) and to be able to possibly finish RN school without having to wait over a year to get back into nursing school. I already have talked to an apartment complex that has available apartments and good rates that I am pretty sure I can get into. I plan on becoming involved in a church as soon as possible too so that I can continue seeking God no matter where I am at!

I really feel peace about this decision, and it seems like doors are wide open there. Last year, I almost went to Masters Commission, but at the last minute didn't go because God was telling me to wait, that it wasn't my time to leave Bemidji yet. What makes me feel such a peace about leaving this time, is that I don't feel that sense of God telling me to wait, and stay, like I felt before. I just feel like it's right.  My dad once told me to "put a fleece out to the Lord" (I guess it comes from a passage in the Bible talking about Gideon), meaning, to ask God for a proof or a sign that this is the right thing to do. I prayed that if this was God's will that everything would work to bring this together and that I would have a clear path before me of what to do about an apartment, job, church, etc. and so far, everything has open doors for me and there doesn't seem to be anything holding me back from taking this step. I really feel strength about it, even though I know it is going to be very hard, I am probably going to get lonely for my friends and family here, and it's hard knowing that my parents are sad and say they are going to feel lonely as well. I know that they are having a hard time, as any parent would with their only daughter moving, but they say that if I feel that this is God's will for me, then it is something that I should do. 

So anyways, in case there have been rumors around that I am just going solely because I am in love with my boyfriend (which I am ) there is more to the situation than that. I just really think that this is the right timing and that with all these good opportunities put together, it seems like a good time to take this step. I am going to miss all of you in Bemidji and at RMC (and Northcentral) So much!!!!! And I am going to miss my family like crazy too!!!!  I am definitely going to make sure to visit whenever I can and keep in contact with everyone and keep you updated on what I am up to!!! Just wanted to update you all on my life so that you know what is going on in case I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you personally about it!  I love you all!!!

God Bless You!!!!

~Kaela

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11- My guiding verse

Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud

But if I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed by the crashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up, whoa

(Lift me up)
When I'm falling
(Lift me up)
I'm weak and I'm dying
(Lift me up)
I need you to hold me
(Lift me up)
Keep me from drowning again

Down pour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean
I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground

But if I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed by the crashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up, whoa

(Lift me up)
When I'm falling
(Lift me up)
I'm weak and I'm dying
(Lift me up)
I need you to hold me
(Lift me up)
Keep me from drowning again

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
And dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all my waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

If I can't swim after 40 days
And my mind is crushed by the crashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up, whoa

(Lift me up)
When I'm falling
(Lift me up)
I'm weak and I'm dying

(Lift me up)
I need you to hold me
(Lift me up)
Keep me from drowning again

(Lift me up)
When I'm falling
(Lift me up)
I'm weak and I'm dying
(Lift me up)
I need you to hold me
(Lift me up)
Keep me from drowning

 

Another day sitting at the coffeeshop trying to accomplish something in my large mass of homework. Caught up in the life of stress, busyness, deadlines, grades, accomplishment, pressure, finances, and a song comes over the speaker, making me realize all over again my shortcomings before God and just how much I really am drowning in my own life but still surviving because of my Lord's undying mercy. It's like I am caught in the flood,  feet stuck in the mud, crushed by the waves, Losing control. When did this happen? I think sometimes Satan uses ourselves to distract us from God, tempts us to let pressures and busyness take the front seat and making us push commitments relating to God to the back, or to his delight, into the trunk. But it doesn't have to stay that way: I hope that right now Satan is sitting in his dark domian with his minions of distraction drowning in his own flood of despair because the one he tryed to pour down on me has FAILED because the savior of the world has come again, pulled me out of the flood, saved me from drowning, and dryed the tears of guilt and fustration pouring from the eyes of my soul. The enemy has lost: JESUS WINS

Wow! I can't believe that it has been almost half a year since i have wrote something on here....how time flies, xanga seems to be a forgotton legacy with most lately. I am not sure that many people really read these things anymore, but if they happen to, I have a few moments to give a quick update of my life......but where do I begin? I feel like I am a completely different person with a whole different life since I wrote on here five months ago...so much has happened, so much has changed.....don't get me wrong, good changes i think. Since July...what has happened? well.......as most of you who read this know, I didn't end up going to RMC because I decided to intently listen to God before moving away and when I took time to do so I realized that his plan for me here in Bemidji wasn't through yet and that he was going to work in my life in ways I didn't know of yet by staying.... and he has :). I now have my first real dating relationship with an amazing guy who loves the Lord and gives me warm fuzzies whenever I think of him :) And...i moved out of my parents house and live with two amazing roomates in town in a house that is so convient for my life it's insane....and....I am going on a missions trip to Zambia hopefully next summer!! And....I am going to be a nurse in 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! EEK! I can't believe that what I have worked towards for the last 2 years is finally this close...it just amazes me, I never really thought that I would see this light at the end of the tunnel, but finally I do, and it is an amazing sunrise on the horizon after all the work!! yay! hmmm....and...I am quitting my job at the nursing home tomorrow, which i am mucho nervous about because they are not going to be happy because another girl just quit as well, but I need to focus on practicum and finals and school, and then take a very much needed break from all the stress before I start job searching for an LPN posistion somewhere and start applying for RN school. In the meantime I might just take a part time job as a home health aid that pays a few dollars more and is much less strenous, not to mention a wholesome envirment with a Christian family :). All in all, the changes in my life have been amazing and caused me to be stretched a lot, and God has been working in my life and showing my his glory in many ways. Sometimes I can not comprehend that plans that he has for each of us, but as I watch lives unfolding and being changed around me I cannot help but think of all that he has designed us for and the fingerprints he has lovingly placed on each of our lives....I hope that each person who is reading this will be amazingly blessed and have a awesome thanksgiving next week, I love ya all!

God Bless,

~Kaela